DUCK RESCUE. - *Cast*: Seven baby Drakes and Hens. . . . as themselves Voices of Baltimore. . . . as themselves *Running Time*: 25 seconds *Director’s Note*: Thanks to...
5 hours ago
Lovetta: You look real cute in that ninja getup.
Brianna: And may I say you look delicious in that sari, you wicked thing. The original exposed midriff, how very charming indeed.
Sheptanya: This makes me look like Queen Victoria on a bad day.
Lovetta: Are you kidding? You look totally shaggable in that. I mean, you look cute in that “OMG, that girl has got some BALLS to wear that in public” way. At least you didn’t have to wear elf ears.
Brianna: Does this make me look fickle? Or versatile?
Lovetta. Versatile. Does this make me look two-dimensional? Or careerist?
Sheptanya: Careerist. Does this make me look gelatinous? Or like slightly less of an awesomely intimidating authority figure?
Brianna: I think it makes you look “published.” (38)
God: For fuck’s sake, I despair at some humans, I really do. Gods, I am so angry. I wish there was something to be done, I feel so impotent.
A star-shaped pillowcase: I am able to convey so many things through nonverbal communication, why is it that I feel so impotent using tools that others use with ease?
Fat Thing: And the worse part is that I cannot do anything about it—except go on being a part of it. My god, why do I feel so impotent? When will we ever learn?
Rusty helmet: I’m scared. Everything has changed. I feel so impotent. There’s nothing that can be done but to sit here and watch.
Earthquake: I feel so impotent when I can’t think of the right words to describe the sound of an individual band or maintain an erection. (59)
Dear universal hominid ancestor:
Do you think you’re special because you have
A DIRECT LINE
TO THE SONG OF THE UNIVERSE? (91)